


When You've Got It

by maxbegone



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Bantering, Episode: s04e12 Singles Week, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, david ate a dog treat and no one talked about it until right now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:34:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27662105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxbegone/pseuds/maxbegone
Summary: “So, there’s just one last little thing…”Patrick’s eyes get all big and round, and honestly David might just melt into a puddle right here. His eyes are lethal weapons designed solely to make him feel completely gooey inside.“About that kiss earlier. I might have possibly,hypotheticallyeaten a dog treat…”
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 28
Kudos: 204





	When You've Got It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roguebaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguebaby/gifts).



A car zooms past just as David steps off the curb outside of the café. He should probably pay attention -- it wouldn’t bode well if he got hit by a car just after he told Patrick he loved him.

The breath leaves his lungs when he thinks about it again, and David nearly doubles over with the two cups in his hands. He wasn’t expecting to say the words outright when he woke up this morning -- or for Patrick to tell him that he loved him in the most Patrick way possible -- but he would be lying to himself if he hadn’t been thinking about it for awhile.

For the first time in his life David has someone who reciprocates, who doesn’t think he’s too opinionated or intense. He smiles to himself. 

He feels a bit loopy.

When the coast is clear, he makes his way across to the Apothecary, unable to bite back his smile as he pushes through the door. The bell jingles, and Patrick looks up from where he’s restocking the last of the massage oils.

“Hey.”

“I brought you tea. Sorry it took so long.”

Patrick sets the empty box by the cash. He takes his cup from David, whispering a thank you. When Patrick goes to kiss him David turns his head at the last second and his lips collide with his cheek.

“I didn’t tell you about how it went with Ted earlier,” David says, twisting the paper sleeve around his cup.

Patrick shakes his head, “You didn’t.”

“Yeah, so I kind of facilitated a reunion of sorts?” He sets his cup down next to the register and starts wandering around the store, twisting and rearranging products so they’re all aligned. “You know, between Alexis and Ted.”

“I don’t think I’m following, David.”

“He showed up at Alexis’s musical chairs thing just now and kissed her in front of everybody.” David leans into one of the display tables. “It was very sweet, actually, and I might just take full credit for it.”

Patrick has the tiniest smile on his face. “What did you say to Ted, anyway?”

“Well, I was really emotional,” he goes on to explain, and Patrick chuckles. “You told me you loved me and that was very nice of you, as I said. But then he told me that he broke up with Heather right when I was heading out, so I couldn’t exactly leave that hanging in the air.” 

“Uh-huh.” Patrick nods. “Right.”

“Yeah.” David prods a bottle of hand lotion in front of him. “I assured him that he’s got it. Alexis. That if he’s willing to try again, then she’s all in.”

“You’re a good brother, David.”

He rolls his eyes. “On occasion.”

Patrick sets his cup down beside David’s and wanders over to him. He pulls him in closer by the waist. 

“I also realized how lucky I am to have you, so in case it wasn’t clear _I’m_ all in, too.” 

“Good to know.” Patrick leans in to kiss him, but David’s hand flies up to block it.

“So, there’s just one last little thing…”

Patrick’s eyes get all big and round, and honestly David might just melt into a puddle right here. His eyes are lethal weapons designed solely to make him feel completely gooey inside.

“About that kiss earlier. I might have possibly, _hypothetically_ eaten a dog treat…”

There are about five seconds before Patrick actually reacts. At first, he just laughs, but when David’s lips pull tight and he doesn’t make direct eye contact with him, he lets out a dumbfounded, _“What?”_

“I didn’t know it was a dog treat! I thought it was a cookie!” David defends, moving his hands around nervously. “And it's not like Ted stopped me. He didn’t didn't tell me until _after_ I had already taken a bite.”

“David. You kissed me after eating a dog treat and neglected to tell me that little detail.” It’s not a question.

He puts a finger up. “Okay, in my defense I have eaten much worse.”

“And you didn’t....I don’t know, think to rectify the situation in any way?” Okay great, wonderful, Patrick’s just a little bit exasperated now. 

It’s very cute, actually.

“I didn’t have any of the breath mints on me,” David replies, gesturing to where the little tins sit in their rightful place by the cash. After the lip balm fiasco several months ago, the two now sit side-by-side and are in need of constant replenishment.

“Okay.” Patrick puts his hands on his hips. He closes his eyes, breathing deeply. “David, I need you to answer this truthfully.”

“Mh-hm.”

“Did you eat the entire dog treat?”

David opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Instead, he puffs out a long breath as his eyes dart towards the ceiling.

 _“You ate the entire thing?”_ Patrick is gaping at him now, and somehow his eyes are even wider. “Seriously?”

“Listen, it wasn’t that bad! And Ted said it was all natural and that they’re made in small batches, anyway! It had peanut butter and oat flour in it and--Patrick, people could technically eat them.”

“You still ate a dog treat, David,” Patrick explains with a little laugh. “The recipe doesn’t change that fact.”

“So it wasn’t human food.” David brings his hands down against the sides of his legs. “I’m sorry that I kissed you with stinky dog treat breath.” 

“You should be,” Patrick says, but his lips are creeping up into a grin. He walks past David to the back display, plucking two things off the middle shelf and carrying it back over. He places a biodegradable toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste in each hand.

David gives them each a little shake. “Are these really necessary?”

“I would think so, yeah.” Patrick begins to shove him toward the bathroom. “Just humor me; give me a clear conscience, here.”

“Wait--” David stops in the open doorway, bracketing himself between Patrick and the bathroom. “You’re not going to take back what you said earlier, right?” He jokes. “You still love me, right?”

“David.” Patrick sets his hands on his shoulders, and just like earlier that morning when he looked him in the eyes and poured his heart out with three simple words, David’s stomach swirls. “I don’t think there’s anything you could ever do to make me stop loving you.”

And, _god._ He wasn't prepared for that. “O-oh. That’s, um, wow--”

“But I am going to need you to brush your teeth because what you did was, frankly, incorrect.” 

David’s jaw drops. His own words were just used against him, and he’s not entirely sure he should be proud of Patrick or not. 

“And don’t worry, David,” Patrick continues, pushing him further into the bathroom. He leans against the doorframe and glances toward the sink in gesture. “I won’t make you pay for the used products. We can just mark it off.”

“How generous of you.” David waves the toothbrush around. “However I do owe you another kiss when I’m done with this,” he says, raising a brow. “One that’s minty and doesn't smell like small-batch dog treats.”

“We’ll see about that. I might need you to eat an entire thing of breath mints before I allow that to happen.”

“Okay, that’s a little dramatic.”

“Is it?” Patrick’s forehead creases as he cocks his head to the side. “Because I’m pretty sure you’d do the same to me if it were the other way around.”

“Here's where you're wrong: I wouldn’t have to do that because you would never even find yourself in this situation.” 

Patrick sighs. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’m going to see if we have any mouthwash.”

He leaves David standing in the bathroom, stunned and smacking his lips together because yes, maybe the whole thing was a little gross.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! You can find me [@maxbegone](maxbegone.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


End file.
